John Stuart Parker (Me): Good morning, Papa Father, Lord Jesus, and Holy Spirit (
- Thank you that I am up and healthy and have a future and a hope.
- Thank you that although I am so very weak you are so very strong.
- Thank you that you never leave me nor forsake me.
- Thank you for discerning of spirits.
- Thank you for being my very present help in trouble.
- Thank you that you use me even when I think I have failed.
PJS: And, John, you do think you have failed and are failing. And you are carrying your perceived failure around like dirty paper dishes. It is the fear of people and of the future and of getting older and of running out of strength, favor, time, and money. What kind of God do you think we are?
Me: I think you are wonderful past all my garbage thinking and all the demonic slandering and accusing I hear (and think it’s my own self-talk). You are my very present help! You never leave me. You never forsake me. If I fall you lift me up—over and over again.
If I am a lone flagstaff-on-a-hill, I wait for you to raise the banner of love for me to wave. The living blood of Jesus Christ cleanses me from all sin. No weapons formed against will prosper. This is the day you have organized. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
PJS: We are Jehovah-Jireh. We see you.
What (After I thought “What…” I just now heard: “…can you possibly see in me?” So, I know I am being attacked.) So I again I ask, What do you see?
PJS: We see your heart. We see your desire and longing. We see and feel your love even when you don’t. Come unto us and we will give you refreshment and renewal.
Me: Jesus, Papa and Ruah, I come. What do you see?
PJS: Anxiety. Fear of failure and of rejection. And, that just can’t happen. We are way to big to let all that happen.
Me: Well, what about looking foolish?
PJS: Aren’t you already okay with that? Don’t you admire those who have failed in the clutch play in baseball.
Me: Not as much as if they got a hit and drove in a run.
PJS: Our team has already won and we are now simply signing autographs and encouraging new and younger players.
Me: I am arguing with you, God of the whale, God of the sparrow of the morning sky. How does the creature say Awe! How does the son say Wow! How does the child even know any words?
PJS: Yes, you are accepted in the beloved. We are on the victory tour!
Jesus: Yes, John, sit with me. You are one of my best friends. I love being seen with you. I’m proud to walk into a restaurant with you, or a classroom, or into the house. I like being seen with you and I’m always alongside you and I enjoy being with you.
Me: Well, that helps me a lot. And then, I think about my poor treatment of others.
PJS: Well, John, don’t think too much. Do you see how you start measuring and analyzing and grading yourself? You grade yourself based on the flesh and the natural and sight.
Remember, we are leading you. You are not leading you. We are restoring you. You are not restoring you.
Just sitting here with us and visiting is really helping you, right?
Me: Yes, I am feeling tender, forgiven, loved, and hopeful. I just get annoyed that I don’t stay that way.
PJS: What way?
Me: Sitting close to you and not getting distracted.
PJS: Remember, while you are on assignment down on earth, such groaning is normal.
Me: I wish it wasn’t.
PJS: LOL! Wishing it wasn’t. That’s the groaning.
You are seeing what could be and what already is. Remain-under your assignment and calling and trust that “we are at work in you both to will and to do our good pleasure.” That is the truth. Trust our word. It is forever settled in heaven.
Me: OK. “The outward perishes, the inward is renewed day by day.”
PJS: Yes. Live inside out.